Mediocrity is something we’ve struggled with for a while. We are all destined for greatness if we decide to go on that path. If not, that’s ok too. If you’re here, you’re probably wanting to know how to move towards being extraordinary and how to avoid mediocrity.
Our fear of failure
Channelling my thoughts while thinking of failure, I realised that I am afraid of failing. I’m sure most of us are. We’ve all failed many times and we need to reframe those experiences as essential parts of the filtering process towards success.
So let’s heal this. Repeat after me and keep going on your on until you can’t say any more about failure:
Failure is fantastic.
Failure is my friend.
Failure is a necessary part of growth.
I embrace failure.
Failure is not a bad word.
Failure is not a dirty word.
Failure is not something to be ashamed of.
Failure is a blessing.
Not investing in ourselves
If you are here, this likely doesn’t apply to you as much. You’re obviously seeking guidance which has brought you to these very words. Good on you. Focus on the other points now.
Doubting our capability to be extraordinary
Let’s get this very clear: we are all capable of being extraordinary. We have seen examples of this in real life over and over again. This doubt needs healing, and usually, it’s linked back to a childhood moment, childhood trauma.
What’s the first memory you have of being told that you’re not good enough? That you suck?
Hold that thought and heal it. Reframe it. What age were you? Hug that younger you. Comfort them, tell them all the reassuring things that you would tell another child or someone else who was told they’re not good enough. Forgive whoever doubted you. Repeat this until you feel lighter. It can take days, weeks, even years. You can speed it up by focusing on this healing. Heal it every time you think about it. Eventually, you’ll find that you no longer think of it, or think of it in the negative way you previously did.
Focused on comparison than growth
Are you spending any time thinking about how successful others are, and comparing their lives to yours? STOP!
It’s good to see others succeed and appreciate their journey and hard work to get there. Acknowledge what they have and their back story then thank them for being a great example of what is possible. Then leave it at that. DON’T start comparing their life to yours. It’s futile.
Looking externally is good for verification, not validation.
We are encouraged by seeing what’s possible. That’s the role we can allow these examples of success play for us.
Just remember that it’s not necessarily validation for us. Meaning, we don’t need to have similar circumstances to that person to achieve their kind of success.
We don’t need to be born in the Western world.
We don’t need to be born a certain gender.
We don’t need to have certain physical features.
And so on.
Focus on your own strengths and weaknesses and work with them towards your own growth.
Confused about our needs and wants
This is a tough one, and something that takes a lot of reflecting on over a sustained period of time to get to the bottom of.
A lot of our needs and wants as we grow older are influenced by others.
Here’s an activity for you on the topic of how to avoid mediocrity:
- Grab a piece of paper or open a new spreadsheet
- Create 3 columns
- On the left column, write the title as NEEDS & WANTS
- Write down all your needs in life, besides the basic survival ones, along with your wants. Everything. Don’t hold back
- In the middle column, write the title as WHO
- Reflect on the first item on your list. Ask yourself, is this coming from you, or from someone else?
- If it’s coming from someone else, cross it off the list
- Repeat for the remaining items
- In the third column, write the title ME ONLY
- Tick or highlight the needs that are yours only
This exercise is to help you identify what is it that YOU want, rather than being influenced by what others around you want. We spend a lot of our lives trying to make others happy when we need to make sure we start with ourselves. And to do that, we need to clarify what it is that we want, from deep within ourselves.
If you’ve crossed off everything on the list, that’s great! Now you have a clean slate to figure out what it is that you do want. Take your time. Try lots of things. Put them in the ‘I like this’ or ‘I don’t like this’ bucket. Find things to put in your ‘I love this’ bucket, and do more of that.
Do more of what feels good.
All the best on your journey.